“When it comes to kids we only have one shot at it, so make every moment count.  I try to do that every day.”

Advice for Dads: fathers share their wisdom

Five fathers at the Jigsaw 2008 National Conference shared their experiences of being a Dad. They spoke about what has worked well for them, what the challenges have been and the lessons they have learned.

Their stories were shared in an honest, heartfelt and entertaining way and they really connected with everyone at the conference, inspiring us to think about Dads in a new way.  Here are some of their ‘words of wisdom.’

Jigsaw would like to thank (clockwise from left) Brian Gardner, Joe Waru, Brian Bedgood, Trevor Shailer and Hoori Glassie for their insight.

 “You can only pass on to your kids who you are.”

“Keep your promises to your children.”

“It’s important to be able to catch yourself in the moment and reflect.”

“In wanting the best for my kids what’s important is my relationship with my wife.”

 “When talking about kids to other Dads let’s provide solutions. It’s important for Dads to talk about the struggles and/or the stresses but it would also be good to talk about the insights.”

“I treat my kids as their own people not as extensions of me, they are not my property, I don’t own them.”

“Being a Dad is an awesome experience. I thank my daughter for the opportunity of being a father from the bottom of my heart.”

“Keep it real and express your emotions.”

“It’s okay to admit to being wrong even if it’s hard to be shown up by a 7 year old.”

“Talking with other Dads works.”

“As a father you can be present and you can create presence.”

“I’m always learning… I’m not controlled by my history.”

“Experiencing being so angry scared me… but I learned the ability to step away and talk to people.”

“My tamariki have taught me far more than I have ever taught them. This is how the cycle is supposed to go round.”

“The challenge now is to provide the physical, spiritual, financial and intellectual support that (my kids) require on their journey.”

“One of the things Dads find most difficult is to talk love talk to their kids… I think that’s because they’ve never heard it. One of the challenges for me is to make sure my kids hear it all the time and have the sense of hearing it in the action and not just the korero.”

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