Being a kid is great. But sometimes stuff happens that’s hard to deal with.
Who you can talk to
It’s good to have people to talk to about how things are going. Do you feel like there are people you can talk to?
Can you talk to people in your family/whānau, like:
• your Mum or Dad or caregiver?
• your brother or sister?
• Grandma or Grandpa?
• your aunt or uncle?
Or maybe someone outside your family/whānau, like:
• your teacher?
• someone else at school?
• a friend’s parent?
• a counsellor?
• a neighbour?
You can call Kidsline on 0800 KIDSLINE (0800 543 754) anytime, 24 hours a day.
Your call is confidential. We will not contact anyone else unless there’s a serious risk someone might be hurt.
Check if there’s a youth centre around you. www.youthline.co.nz/Directory_of_Services_94.aspx
All these services are here to help you – you’re not alone.
Safety tips for the Net and cellphones
The net is great for a lot of things, but it can be dangerous. You can’t be sure of who you might be talking to, or who might be listening.
Keeping safe on the Net:
• Don’t give out your last name, your address or phone number – use a nickname or a made-up name.
• Don’t give out information about yourself – don’t tell people what school you go to, what sports team you play for, and things like that. People can figure out who you are by your details.
• Think very hard before putting photos on the internet. Anyone can get hold of them and change them.
• If you get a nasty message, show an adult straight away and if you’re ever uncertain about anything, talk to an adult.
Cellphones are an easy and fun way to talk with friends and family. But if your number falls into the wrong hands, it can be horrible.
Keeping safe on your cellphone:
• Only give your number to your close friends and family.
• If someone calls and you don’t recognise their number, don’t answer your phone.
• If you ever get a nasty message, save it and tell an adult who you can trust.
• If you’re ever uncertain about a call or a text, talk to an adult. Is something happening that’s making you feel bad?
Are any of these true for you?
• People fight a lot at my home.
• Someone hits or kicks me.
• Someone touched me in a weird way, or showed me their private parts.
• Someone puts me down a lot, and is mean to me.
• I am being bullied.
• People don’t look after me properly at home.
{Note: Ask Viv at handover if we can put something interactive here, such as, a ‘yes’ and ‘no’ button that can link to the kids’ quotes further on this section}
Any of these things can feel really awful. They are not OK. You need to talk to someone.
You can call Kidsline on 0800 KIDSLINE (0800 543 754) anytime, 24 hours a day.
Your call is confidential. We will not contact anyone else unless there’s a serious risk someone might be hurt.
Check if there’s a youth centre around you. www.youthline.co.nz/Directory_of_Services_94.aspx
All these services are here to help you!
What’s not OK
Do your parents, or your caregivers argue a lot? It might be your Mum and her partner, or your Dad and his partner. Everyone argues sometimes. But if it happens too often, it’s not OK.
Do any of these things happen? One person:
• puts the other person down a lot
• tries to stop the other one from doing things
• says they’ll hurt the other
• tries to hit or hurt the others.
This stuff is not OK. And it’s really rough on you.
‘He was hurting her in the kitchen and she was crying. She told me to go away so I got my brother and we went under the table’ – Jess
If anyone is hurting you, it’s not OK:
Someone hits or kicks me
‘Mum slapped me and gave me hidings.’ – Sarah
Someone touched me in a weird way
‘I didn’t like it when my stepdad touched me like that, but he told me it was OK.’ – Lucy
Someone puts me down a lot, and is mean to me
‘I heard him yelling at her that I was useless and lazy.’ – Chris
People don’t look after me properly at home
‘Being on the street was better than being at home.’ – Greg
None of this stuff is OK. Anyone can do these things – it might be your Mum or Dad or caregiver, your Mum’s partner, your Dad’s partner, your aunt or uncle, your brother or sister, a family friend. But abuse is never OK.
Your body belongs to you, and you know what feels OK and what doesn’t. If these things are happening to you, remember that it’s not your fault. You need to talk to someone.
You can call Kidsline on 0800 543 754 anytime, 24 hours a day.
Your call is confidential. We will not contact anyone else unless there’s a serious risk someone might be hurt. We’re here to help you.
Are you being bullied?
Has anyone done any of these things:
• called you names?
• teased you?
• not let you join in activities?
• said or written horrible things about you?
• sent you mean texts, emails or messages online?
• taken or damaged your things?
• hit, kicked or hurt you in any way?
• threatened you?
This is bullying. No one deserves to be bullied.
Bullying can make you feel scared, upset, embarrassed or angry. But whatever you feel, being bullied is not your fault. You didn’t ask to be bullied! No one has the right to be mean to you.
You have a right to feel safe.
So what can I do?
You need to tell an adult that you trust.
Can you talk to people in your family/whānau, like:
• your Mum or Dad or caregiver?
• your brother or sister?
• Grandma or Grandpa?
• your aunt or uncle?
Or maybe someone outside your family/whānau, like:
• your teacher?
• someone else at school?
• a friend’s parent?
• a counsellor?
• a neighbour?
You can call Kidsline on 0800 543 754 anytime, 24 hours a day.
Your call is confidential. We will not contact anyone else unless there’s a serious risk someone might be harmed.
When you’re being bullied:
• Try to ignore the bully. If they see that they’re not upsetting you, they might stop.
• Don’t try to get them back. This will just make things worse.
Bullying on the Net
If you ever get a nasty message or picture:
• don’t reply
• show it to an adult that you trust
• save, or print out the message, so you have evidence
• if ever you feel uncomfortable about anything you see in an email, talk to an adult who you trust.
You can call Kidsline on 0800 543 754, anytime, 24 hours a day.
Getting nasty messages feels awful! And you don’t have to deal with it alone.
Bullying on your cellphone
If you get a nasty text:
• don’t reply
• keep the message and show an adult that you can trust straight away.
You can call Kidsline anytime, 24 hours a day on 0800 543 754.
Your call is confidential. We will not contact anyone else unless there’s a serious risk someone might be harmed. We’re here to help!
Getting mean texts is horrible. Talk to an adult that you can trust.
And trust yourself. If someone is doing something that feels wrong, it’s probably not OK. You need to talk to someone.
When you have told someone, keep talking to them, until you feel safe. If you don’t feel like they are helping, tell someone else.
‘It does help to talk’ – Ben
FAQs
Q. What if I’m too scared to tell?
A. It can be really hard to talk to an adult. Could you write it down for them? Or take someone else along to talk to them, maybe a friend or a brother or sister. The person who is hurting you may have told you not to tell. They might have said it’s a secret, or that something will happen if you tell. Don’t listen to them. They are trying to scare you, because they know what they’re doing is wrong. You need to tell someone.
Q. What if I’m worried about breaking up the family?
A. It’s scary when you think that your family might break up. But if there’s abuse going on, you need to do something about it. It’s not your fault at all. If you want to talk about what might happen if you tell someone, you can talk to us about it. You don’t have to give your name.
Q. What if it only happened once?
A. It doesn’t matter. You still need to talk to someone about it.
Q. How will it feel when I tell?
A. Some kids say that when it happens they feel:
‘scared’
‘alone’
‘confused’
‘angry’
‘guilty’
‘ashamed’
You might feel like this, or you might feel differently. There’s no right way to feel.
Q. What happens when I call someone?
A. If you call JIGSAW or Kidsline, you don’t have to give your name. We’re here to listen and help you figure out what’s going on.
Your call is confidential. We will not contact anyone else unless there’s a serious risk someone might be harmed. We’re here to help!
You can call Kidsline on 0800 543 754 anytime, 24 hours a day.
What if this is happening to a friend?
If you think a friend might be in a bad situation, talk to them about it. Let them know that it’s not their fault. Encourage them to talk to an adult.
Would they talk to:
• their Mum or Dad?
• their Grandma or Grandpa?
• their teacher?
• your Mum or Dad?
They can call Kidsline on 0800 543 754 anytime.
If you are scared for your friend, tell an adult yourself. Or call us and talk about what to do.
Your call is confidential. We will not contact anyone else unless there’s a serious risk someone might be hurt. We’re here to help!
If you think your friend is not safe, you need to talk to an adult yourself. Remember, everyone has a right to feel safe.
Useful links
Bullying:
www.nobully.org.nz/kids.htm
www.kidsline.org.nz/Bullying_421.aspx?pageid=421
Kidsline:
www.kidsline.org.nz
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