A lot of family tension and upset can be reduced if the basics are in place. The routines of family life provide the framework within which children and young people can be nurtured. Having children in your home – whether living with you or just visiting – means some changes to your home and routine. Here are things to do that make things easier.
It saves a heap of stress and trouble if you make your home play-safe, such as:
• childproof your home so that children can play safely and you don’t have to nag
• put your precious ornaments and harmful chemicals away out of reach
• teach basic water safety and supervise children near water at all times.
It is much less stressful being with children who are well rested and healthy. Children need at least nine hours sleep a night, and toddlers an extra hour during daytime. They also need to be clean and well-fed. Cranky, difficult children are often just tired, hungry or bored.
Set these basics in place and make them simply the routine things to be done every day.
Ideas to set good sleep habits:
• keep the time for going to bed consistent
• make sure there are no energetic activities after 6 pm
• avoid using bed as a punishment – it needs to be a happy place.
Ideas to set healthy eating habits:
• have reasonably regular breakfast, lunch and dinner times
• keep healthy snacks on hand – raisins, fruit, carrots –for in-between munchies
• make meals a relaxed and happy time – a time to chat not to battle (it’s usually not worth fussing if children don’t eat everything; they’re not likely to starve themselves and will catch up later).
Ideas to set the tooth cleaning habit:
• make tooth cleaning a routine everyday – after breakfast and before bedtime
• buy brushes with pictures of favourite characters and try different flavoured toothpastes
• give older children a star for a star chart (that builds to a reward) every time they brush.
Ideas to set a keeping-clean routine:
• set a time for a daily bath or shower (do remember to always supervise young children in water)
• find interesting water containers and bath toys
• use bubble bath to make it fun
• use a star chart.
Be matter of fact and firm about these necessary routines. Be flexible and have fun at other times. Lots of fun family things are cheap, such as:
• reading books together (borrow books from the library)
• building and making things with empty cartons, packets, wrapping paper or old rugs
• exploring the beach, a park or nearby streets
• watching activity at an airport, railway or trucking station.
Children learn a lot through their relationships with other children. They learn important skills, and need these contacts for their social development. See Child development: ages and stages for further details. Encourage children over the age of three to make friends. You can:
• join a playgroup
• enrol children in a playcentre or kindergarten
• welcome your children’s friends to your home.
Children cannot be safe and happy if there is violence, alcohol or drug abuse, or serious illness that is damaging the family. Step in and get help if these things are preventing your mokopunas, nieces or nephews from flourishing in a safe and happy environment.
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